Five Flavors of Financial Hiding
Avoiding your bank account is just one way to hide from money. There are four others—and naming yours is the first step to changing it.
Last time, we talked about the ostrich effect: how your brain buries its head in the sand when financial information might hurt. But avoiding your bank balance is only one flavor of financial hiding.
There are actually five, and most of us have a favorite.
Knowing which one is yours changes everything. It’s the difference between “I’m bad with money” and “Oh, that’s what I do.”
1. Information Avoidance
This is the classic avoidance. You don’t check your accounts or open statements. You let the app notifications pile up unread.
What it sounds like: “I’ll look tomorrow.” “I don’t want to know.” “If I don’t check, it’s not real yet.”
What’s underneath: The belief that knowing will feel worse than not knowing. Your brain is protecting you from bad news, even when not knowing costs you more.
Research shows people avoid financial information more when they expect it to be negative. Eye-tracking studies found that people literally look away faster from numbers during times of financial stress.
2. Decision Avoidance
You have the information. You know what your options are. And you... do nothing.
The 401 (k) enrollment form sits on your desk. The refinancing calculator stays open in a browser tab for weeks. You’ve researched the better savings account but haven’t switched.
What it sounds like: “I need to think about it more.” “I’ll decide when I have more time.” “What if I choose wrong?”
What’s underneath: The weight of choosing. When a decision has both good and bad possibilities, your brain can freeze. Picking feels riskier than waiting, even when waiting has its own cost.
This is an approach-avoidance conflict in action. The closer you get to deciding, the louder the “but what if” gets.
3. Communication Avoidance
This one hides in relationships. You don’t talk about money with your partner. You change the subject when family brings it up. You’d rather split a check awkwardly than have a simple conversation about who owes what.
What it sounds like: “We don’t really talk about that.” “It’s not a big deal.” “I don’t want to make it weird.”
What’s underneath: Fear that money conversations will lead to conflict, judgment, or shame. The belief that keeping money private keeps the peace, even when silence creates its own tension.
Studies link financial secrecy in relationships to higher conflict overall. The thing we avoid talking about tends to grow.
4. Action Avoidance
You’ve checked the numbers. You’ve made the decision. You know exactly what to do next.
And you don’t do it.
The bill is ready to be paid, the call is all set to be made, and the transfer is just a click away. Yet, something holds you back.
What it sounds like: “I meant to.” “I’ll do it later today.” “I don’t know why I haven’t yet.”
What’s underneath: Sometimes it’s the little things that create friction—too many steps, too much hassle. But other times, it runs deeper. Taking action makes everything feel real, and paying off a debt means confronting the fact that it existed in the first place.
Behavioral economists refer to these as “intention-action gaps.” The positive aspect is that small adjustments to friction can lead to significant improvements. The challenging aspect is that sometimes the friction can be emotional rather than logistical.
5. Future Avoidance
This one’s sneaky. You handle today’s money fine. You check your accounts, pay your bills, and make decisions. But thinking about retirement? Building long-term savings? Planning for five years out?
Nope.
What it sounds like: “I’ll figure that out later.” “I’m focused on right now.” “Future me can deal with it.”
What’s underneath: Difficulty connecting with your future self. Research shows we literally think about our future selves the way we think about strangers. Saving for retirement can feel like giving money to someone you don’t know.
There’s also the overwhelm factor. Today’s problems feel concrete. Tomorrow feels foggy. It’s hard to plan for something you can’t picture clearly.
Which One Is Yours?
Most people have a primary flavor, the one that shows up most. Some have a combination.
Here’s a quick way to find yours: Think about money for ten seconds. What’s the first thing you’d rather not think about?
If it’s checking something: information avoidance
If it’s choosing something: decision avoidance
If it’s discussing something: communication avoidance
If it’s doing something you’ve already decided: action avoidance
If it’s anything about later: future avoidance
No judgment here; these aren’t flaws but patterns, which can shift once you see them.
What Now?
You don’t need to fix anything yet. Naming the pattern is enough for now.
This week, when you notice yourself avoiding something money-related, ask: Which flavor is this?
That’s it. Simply observe and label your thoughts and feelings. By cultivating awareness, you’re laying the foundation for meaningful change.
Next up: the shame spiral. Because underneath most financial avoidance, there’s something we don’t like to talk about. And talking about it gently is how it starts to lose its grip.
This content is for educational purposes only and should not be construed as financial or therapeutic advice. Consider speaking with qualified professionals for personalized guidance.