The Smallest Possible Step
The way out of financial avoidance isn't a giant leap. It's a step so small your brain barely notices you're moving.
So far in this series, we’ve covered a lot of ground. Your brain treats financial threats the same way it treats physical ones. There are five different ways to hide from money. Shame keeps the whole cycle spinning.
Now the question: how do you actually stop avoiding?
The answer is smaller than you think. Literally.
Why Big Steps Backfire
Here’s what usually happens. You get fed up with avoiding. You decide today is the day. You’re going to sit down, open every account, face every number, and finally get a handle on things.
By 2 PM, you’ve reorganized your sock drawer instead.
This isn’t a weakness. Remember the approach-avoidance conflict from Post 1? The closer you get to the scary thing, the stronger the fear becomes. Big steps put you right in the danger zone where your amygdala takes over.
Willpower can’t outmuscle your threat-detection system. Not reliably. Not long-term.
So we need a different approach.
The Science of Gradual Exposure
There’s a therapeutic technique that’s been helping people overcome fears for decades. It’s called exposure therapy, and it has one of the strongest evidence bases in psychology.
The idea is simple: instead of avoiding what scares you, you approach it—but in tiny, manageable doses. Over time, your brain learns that the thing isn’t actually dangerous. The alarm bells quiet down.
This works because of how your amygdala learns. When you face something scary, and nothing catastrophic happens, your brain starts updating its threat assessment. The fear response weakens.
Psychologists call this habituation.
The key is: the exposure has to be small enough that you can actually do it. If the step is too big, your brain panics, you flee, and the fear gets reinforced instead of reduced.
The Financial Exposure Ladder
Exposure therapy uses something called a hierarchy—a ladder of increasingly challenging steps. You start at the bottom and only move up when the current step feels manageable.
Here’s what a financial exposure ladder might look like:
Level 1: Acknowledge that your accounts exist. That’s it. No logging in. Just say out loud: “I have a checking account and two credit cards.”
Level 2: Look at the app icon on your phone. Don’t open it. Just look at it for five seconds.
Level 3: Open the app and close it before any numbers load.
Level 4: Open the app and look at one account balance for three seconds. Then close it.
Level 5: Look at one balance and write the number down. Don’t analyze it. Just write it.
Level 6: Look at all your account balances in one session.
Level 7: Look at one recent transaction list.
Level 8: Spend five minutes reviewing transactions without making any decisions.
This might seem ridiculous. Looking at an app icon? That’s a step?
Yes. That’s the point.
Why Small Actually Works
Three things happen when you take tiny steps:
Your amygdala stays calm. Small steps don’t trigger the complete threat response. You remain in what researchers call the “learning zone”—alert enough to grow, not so flooded that you shut down.
You build evidence. Every small step you complete is proof that you can do this. That evidence accumulates. Your brain starts to believe: “Maybe this isn’t as dangerous as I thought.”
You actually do it. The best step is the one you take. A perfect plan that you don’t act on is less valuable than an imperfect step you finish. Small steps get done.
This is how lasting change happens, not in dramatic breakthroughs, but in boring, repeated, almost-too-easy actions that gradually rewire your response.
Finding Your Level
Look at the ladder above. Find the step that makes you feel slightly uncomfortable but not panicked. That’s your starting point.
If Level 1 feels hard, that’s fine. Start there.
If Level 5 feels easy, start at Level 6.
There’s no prize for starting higher. The goal isn’t to prove anything. The goal is to actually move.
What Now?
Pick one step from the ladder—the smallest one that feels like a real step for you.
Do it once this week.
That’s the whole assignment. Do one step at a time. If it feels good, you can repeat it. If it feels tough, stay at that level until it doesn’t.
You’re not trying to fix your finances this week. You’re trying to help your brain understand this isn’t dangerous.
Next up: when stepping back actually serves you. Because sometimes avoidance isn’t the problem.
This content is for educational purposes only and should not be construed as financial or therapeutic advice. Consider speaking with qualified professionals for personalized guidance.