What Debt Really Feels Like
The Weight You Carry, Part 1 of 6
Nobody talks about what debt actually feels like.
Not the number on the screen, but the feeling. That low-grade hum of owing that’s already running when you open your eyes in the morning and still hasn’t quit by the time you try to fall asleep. The way your chest gets tight when you see the envelope or the notification. The exhaustion of carrying something invisible that somehow weighs more than anything you can see.
If you recognize any of that, you’re not alone. Not even close.
The Invisible Weight
Inside your brain, when you’re carrying debt, your mind is running a background program, all day, every day. Researchers at Princeton found that financial worry consumes so much mental bandwidth that it can reduce cognitive performance by the equivalent of 13 IQ points. That’s roughly the same hit you’d take from pulling an all-nighter.
So when you feel foggy, distracted, or just plain worn out even though you “didn’t really do anything today,” that’s not laziness. That’s your brain burning fuel on a problem it can’t solve while you sleep. You’re running calculations and worst-case scenarios without even realizing it, and it costs real energy. No wonder you’re tired. You’re carrying something heavy that nobody else can see.
Your Body Already Knows
Debt doesn’t just live in your head. It takes up residence in your body, too.
Think about where you feel it. Maybe it’s the tightness in your chest when a bill arrives, or the knot in your stomach when someone brings up money at dinner. Maybe it’s the shallow breathing when you start to think about the total, or that impulse to close the app, flip past the statement, and change the subject.
That’s your nervous system responding to a perceived threat. At some point, your body learned that debt means danger, and now it’s trying to protect you the only way it knows how. The protection doesn’t feel like protection, of course. It feels like anxiety, avoidance, and exhaustion. But your body is doing exactly what it was designed to do.
If this is bringing up difficult feelings, that’s okay. Take a breath. You don’t have to read this all at once.
The Story That Sneaks In
At some point, debt gets really insidious: it stops being something you have and starts feeling like something you are.
The internal story shifts. “I owe money” becomes “I’m bad with money.” “This happened” turns into “This is who I am.” And once debt becomes an identity rather than a situation, it becomes so much heavier.
But here’s the truth: debt is a financial situation you’re in, and it’s one that millions and millions of people share. According to the Federal Reserve, total U.S. household debt hit $17.5 trillion in 2024. There are 45 million student loan borrowers. The American Psychological Association reports that 72% of Americans feel stressed about money at least sometimes, and the National Foundation for Credit Counseling found that 42% of adults with debt say it directly hurts their mental health.
You are not your balance. Your worth isn’t determined by what you owe. That’s easier said than believed, especially in a culture that quietly treats financial struggle like a moral failing. But the story that says debt equals personal failure is just that: a story. And stories can change.
You Were Never Meant to Carry This Alone
There’s a dimension to this heaviness that goes deeper than what psychology alone can fully explain. The shame of debt often feels like more than social embarrassment. It feels like condemnation, like you’ve somehow failed at something fundamental about being a responsible person, like you’re disqualified from respect, or love, or worth.
In the book of Matthew, there’s an invitation that speaks directly to that kind of exhaustion: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30, ESV).
Notice what that doesn’t say. It doesn’t say “get your act together and then come.” It invites the weary and burdened exactly as they are. Whatever weight you’re carrying right now, it’s already known. And the invitation isn’t to try harder. It’s to rest.
One Thing This Week
Don’t worry about fixing anything right now. Seriously. No spreadsheet, no payoff plan, no hard conversations. Not yet.
This week, just try this: put your hand on your chest and say, out loud or silently, “This is heavy. I’m tired. That makes sense.” That’s it. You don’t have to solve it today. You just have to stop pretending it isn’t there. Acknowledgment is the first step toward something lighter, and everything else can wait.
Next in the series: We’ll talk about the thing nobody wants to talk about, the shame and secrecy that make debt so isolating, and why the silence is making everything harder.
This content is for educational purposes only and should not be construed as financial or therapeutic advice. Consider speaking with qualified professionals for personalized guidance.